Today, one of the first things I read was to start with the small things. Start with the small things that bother you, for example a car honking at the stoplight, someone parking to close to your car in the parking lot, you get the idea. We typically allow these little insignificant things too much attention and often times turn them into far more energy than they deserve. In fact, when we do this we are creating a negative energy outflow into the universe. We all know the universe needs an outflow of positive, loving energy! So stop this behavior. How? Well, one simple way is when you feel yourself going to this place, settle into your heart, breathe, and let your shoulders relax. You would be surprised how these simple little actions can shift your emotions and therefore your energy. It works too, I can attest first hand. This morning when driving back from my run as I turned onto my street, I was looking at something on the other street more intently than where I was making my turn. I was startled when a blue car came roaring up to the stop sign right where I was turning (in his own lane) and I felt my energy turn, I literally felt my body become nervous and tingling. I could feel my body and my mind going directly toward all the ‘what if’s’. However, nothing happened, we were both fine and in our own lanes, I was just not paying attention and was caught off guard. Right there as I felt my body and energy changing, I stopped myself, started to breathe deeply into my chest, relaxed my shoulders and let it all go. It was amazing, I smiled and thought what a marvelous day, the sun is shining, and all is in perfect harmony. I felt my body relax, and the tingling sensation that was present for just a Nano second immediately subsided.
We get stuck in these other places, and much of it because we are still carrying wounds from our childhood. This is our responsibility to fix, there is no excuse here as we are adults and placing blame on others is not the solution. Rather, the solution is to accept that things occurred in our lives where we did not feel 100 percent loved, and release that low-level spiritual quest, for that is what it is if you are still acting it out. Karen Salmansohn calls this masochistic equilibrium and defines it as this:
As a child you learned habits on love and happiness from your parents. If you learned that love comes with yelling and insults, then being in a relationship with too much peace and too many compliments might actually inspire anxiety. Snagging an abundance of joy might also trigger you to self-sabotage your happiness in order to maintain that “masochistic equilibrium” which you learned in your childhood. Or you might simply choose scenarios from the get-go which bring you lower levels of love and bliss.
Basically, you grew up in your childhood learning to feel comfy with only a certain level of happiness. Maybe you grew up used to eighty percent happiness. Or only seventy-five percent. Or seventeen percent. When this concentration shifts—even if it’s upwards—you will then start to feel twitchy, because this new zone feels so unfamiliar. As a result you might instinctively want to do something self-sabotaging, so you can shift your happiness concentration back down, down, down, down, down to your familiar zone—your “masochistic equilibrium.” Or, as mentioned above, you might simply choose situations right from the start which bring you a familiar level of pain, so as to match the “masochistic equilibrium” you grew up with.
We are choosing to stay in our own pain, or low-level spirit, when we allow such little things to overwhelm our being. It is our choice whether we want to remain there, or to love ourselves 100 percent. You can begin by simple exercises as mentioned above, but you may also choose to go deeper as well. To keep a journal is a wonderful way to get in touch with your inner-self, to release some deep-rooted emotions of not being loved, to set them free. Also, begin to surround yourself with positive things, things that make you happy and people who make you happy. These are the first small steps toward enlightenment. It begins by softening your approach to life, and learning to breathe into those uncomfortable moments when you aren’t paying attention and a blue car comes racing up next to you!
“Enlightenment is always there. Small enlightenment will bring great enlightenment. If you breathe in and are aware that you are alive—that you can touch the miracle of being alive—then that is a kind of enlightenment.” Thich Nhat Hanh