We have all heard the phrase life is what you make of it. On the surface this sounds doable and makes perfect sense. However, when we are in a place of darkness this sounds very unobtainable. Often we develop a sense of being victimized. The victim, best described as one who feels powerless and in that moment of feeling powerless is rendered unable to take appropriate action to resolve situations adversely affecting their well-being. When we make a choice to be powerless, we are often acting from learned behavior that originated in early childhood experiences where core needs were not adequately met. This translates into most of humanity; we all suffer some from this condition. The question is will you choose to stand in it, or move to another point of perspective? The choice really is ours to make.
Today while out for a run I found my mind drifting to a very recent conversation I had with my son, who resides a long way away and I don’t have the opportunity to speak with very often. I heard myself talking to him and beginning to whine about the holidays. He is leaving today to go visit his half-brother for the holidays and won’t be traveling home to be with me. He is my only child, I am a widow, live alone, don’t have a significant other . . . you get the drill. ME all alone for the holidays, just like so many others in the world. He, my very smart child, snapped me right out of my victim mentality and grounded me back into what is real. What is real is that I have a family, both parents and 4 siblings; I am choosing not to be with them this holiday season. Additionally, I have my health, a beautiful son who is healthy, an amazing dog, and a lovely home that protects me from the elements, enough food to eat, and many wonderful friends. The list of blessings could go on and on. So why was I tapping into the victim mentality? There are many reasons why I was going down that road. What is important to ask yourself when you find that you are taking a visit there, is why are you? What needs did you not get met when you were a young child, and why have you not made peace with those issues yet? Why don’t you love yourself enough to know you are enough just as you stand?
It is about taking control of your life, and making it the best life. It is about being able to see the stars even while sitting in the darkness and never forgetting that you are the heroine of your own play. Life really is what you make of it!