Going nowhere. . . isn’t about turning your back on the world; its about stepping away now and then so that you can see the world more clearly and love it more deeply.

~ Leonard Cohen

Nowhere, yes, I have been nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Joyously reading all your beautiful writings for the past couple of months, I have been renewed time and again with the grace and poetry of your writings. Thank you for sharing your beautifully crafted words.

These months have been both difficult as well as rewarding in my personal life. Passing yet another milestone of the loss of my late husband, 12 years, having my son and his wife return home from an extended year of travel all over the world, only to have them leave again to spread their wings elsewhere, and to the place that brings me here this morning to these written words on these starchy white lines of paper.

This week brings to conclusion a step on my pathway to study yoga deeper with the completion of my 200-hour RYT (Registered Yoga Teacher) Certificate. It has been a journey for me, one I began with a small voice in a class bursting with the effervescence of youth. Writing about finding one’s voice, there I sat without much of a voice, lacking confidence in my entire being partly due to age and many other constructs I scripted in my mind. Last night I taught a full C1 class and stood comfortably with my age and used my voice to bring forth all I have experienced in life to hopefully touch other’s souls and empower them to stand in their own voice in not only their yoga practice, but in their life.

Life is a journey, and every now and then we have to go away by going nowhere in order to step back and experience big magic. Today as I sit in this picturesque cold, snowy environment having had this beautiful experience of being able to teach something that I am passionate about, yoga, I feel love much more deeply. Namaste.


(photo credit:  Kurt Hayden)

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Let it Go

We often cling to our problems, and our past because it gives us a sense of identity, holding onto pain far behind its ability to serve us. There is a natural inclination to cling to lost love, to brood, to avenge, to revisit the hurt from which you should have been protected, to right wrongs that can never be erased.

As we see the leaves falling from the trees at this beautiful time of year where we experience such extraordinary beauty in decay, let it also be a time of year to let it go. Let the problems that you are needlessly clinging to fall to the Earth just like the lovely leaves fluttering to the ground.

Often psychology will advise us that in order to move forward we must look back. However, there comes a point where appreciation of your past locks you in place and impedes any forward motion. Not to discount what has come before, but that is the very point it is over, done, past. The power to move forward requires some mental fortitude in order to push away some of the emotional debris. To become unstuck we do need to remember an injury, but what if you reconsidered it from a more empathetic perspective. Reconfigure your viewpoint don’t amputate it. Be truthful with yourself about how you are still feeling about the past – – angry, sad, or anxious.

We never really get over these injuries, but we can find a different place to hold them where they no longer intrude in daily life. We don’t ever get over things; we get past them, move forward and heal into growth. Notice who you are right this moment and just like the beauty found in the decay of the falling leaves, take notice of the beauty that is to be found in your shadow for it brought you here to this very moment, which is all there is.


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Fail Better

Fail better means you begin to have the ability to hold the rawness of vulnerability in your heart, according to Pema Chodron. Each time we fail at something we are offered the ability to look into our hearts and see it as our connection with other human beings. The place where we are all interconnected as the greater humanity. Each time we find ourselves in this place we are able to choose to lean into it and grow, to move forward and communicate our vulnerability with others. What a wonderful gift, and we all have the ability to tap into this place. What is even more beautiful is that the more times we fail and get back up, the easier it is to come back to standing. To me, this is a beautiful gift. The more times we get knocked down and get back up, the easier it is to get up! When we are able to cultivate our courage and bravery, as well as a sense of humor, you keep getting up and moving forward.

No one likes to be knocked down, that much is a given. However, it is going to happen in life because it is this crazy little thing called life. When we are able to work with the feeling of failure instead of shoving it under the rug, blaming someone else, or (what I tend to do) come up with negative self-image talk, we are actually able to get up easier and move forward with more grace. Failure will always hurt, and people you love will die, your heart will be broken.  However, you can hold that loss as part of the collective human experience, which connects you to other people, and move forward. What a wonderful blessing if we simply allow ourselves to be vulnerable. The next time you feel like you have been knocked over, see if you are able to stand up just a little taller when the wave knocks you down. Reach into your heart like the Lion in the Wizard of Oz to that courage spot and pull yourself up, dust yourself off, and move forward knowing that you are part of this beautiful experience called being human. Love yourself enough!

The Guest House


This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.



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Cycles of Change

In the northern hemisphere we are experiencing the stunning season of autumn. It is of course an oxymoron in that in everything that dies we are afforded great beauty to behold. This may in fact be the lesson for us all, to learn to think of death as beautiful. Okay, understandably some of you are shouting that death is not beautiful. Perhaps if we leaned into it a little more and looked at it as natural part of the process of life, part of the cycle of life, we would be able to accept it and all that it has to offer us.

What I have learned from experiencing the death of a loved one is to not take life for granted. Every day matters, every moment matters and to not leave things unsaid by allowing fear to get in the way. For me that is a beautiful gift.  I now practice BIG LOVE. It can be messy, sweet, complicated, joyful, but it should be BIG. I refuse to play small. The world awaits and I may only have this one day.

One of my favorite poems is The Summer Day by Mary Oliver

Who made the world?

Who made the swan, and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper,

I mean- the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-

who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention,

how to fall down into the grass,

how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed,

how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

This poem serves to remind me that my life is first and foremost what I make of it. Each and everyday I have a choice as to how I come to life. Even when touched by grief, we have a choice to remake ourselves and live again, to shine our light brightly. What will you do today with your one wild precious life?


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Watching you fly around the feeders filling your bellies with the sweet nectar, I wonder what you might teach me? I wonder where you will soon be off to in terms of your winter journey, and what I am going to feel when you are gone?  Will I feel a longing, a missing of your sweet souls, one that filled my days with such joy by simply watching you consume the sugar-water? Even now I am reminded of the mortals I know that have stepped over the threshold, the ones I no longer see in the flesh, but only recall only in my heart.

As the Earth prepares to go to sleep (in the Northern Hemisphere) I find a longing in my heart for the life I once had, the one where I seemed almost oblivious to the struggles of life.   Of course, this is also a lie I tell myself. It is simply a story I create to soothe my soul, applying it liberally like a balm to the still raw aching.

Joy and comfort are always there for me no matter what the season, I simply might have to gaze a little deeper to find them, or to remember them. My life will not be what it was yesterday; it will be what it is today. Remembering this while watching the birds fill their seemingly gluttonous tummies gives me an odd sense of comfort, even though I know they are preparing to leave my porch, like many others. There is a comfort in knowing I will continue, for now, and that it is my choice as to how I will seize this day.

You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going.  What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.  ~ Thomas Merton

Anna's Hummingbird

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With Gratitude

Having been absent in almost all forms from WordPress for sometime now, first I would like to share how much I missed reading everyone’s inspiring words and stories. This absence was because of much joy in my life with first the wedding of my dear friend’s daughter, and then the wedding of my son to his beautiful wife. Both of these weddings were destination weddings, which was even more special. My friend’s daughter was married on a mountaintop outside of Vail, Colorado and my son was married in the Mayan Rivera in Mexico. We also just had a beautiful wedding reception here in Colorado for my son and his wife. These past couple of months have been full of blessings, and I stand in gratitude.

Knowing that life is a mixture of both shadow and light, I feel so fortunate to have been able to stand in the most loving light of new love. Some wonderful family blessings occurred with some great healing of strained relationships and more. Just being quiet and letting it happen was such a gift, and remaining open to all. For me, these were the ways to allow more love to flow into my life. Thank you all for following my blog, even in my absence from writing, which I initially tried to keep up, but found impossible. Another lesson was there for me, to be able to fully let go.

Today is the first morning I am back with my son and his new wife off for a month of travel in South America and my family back at their respective homes. Of course as is the way of life, we have had some bad news along the way mixed in with all the joy. My mother can no longer visit here, the elevation is too much for her and she was very ill while here requiring hospital stays as well as the knowledge that this would be her last visit. Additionally, my stepson’s unborn baby has been found to have some rather tragic issues and just this morning his wife flew back to the United States from China to begin the process of arranging the required C-Section and then surgery for the baby, with many unknowns as yet. So even amidst the joy, there has been some sorrow, but we are all able to love a little more, a little deeper and be grateful for what we have been given.

Thank you all my fellow WordPress friends for your love and support along this journey we are all on. Blessings and Namaste.


Hold on to what is good, even if it is a handful of earth.  Hold on to what you believe, even if it is a tree which stands by itself.  Hold on to what you must do, even if it is a long way from here.  Hold on to life, even when it is easier letting go.  Hold on to my hand, even when I have gone away from you.  ~Pueblo Blessing

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Happy Father’s Day

Yesterday was the “holiday” where we are encouraged to honor our fathers. However, I often question whether we should only honor them one day of the year as opposed to every day. Whatever the case might be, it is a wonderful gift of the heart to show the people you love that you care. In our home we have struggled with this prescribed holiday, as there is no father for my son. His father left this earthly realm when my son was 12 years old. Today he is 24 years old. He has now lived half of his life without a father. Writing these words brings tears to my eyes. Half of  a lifetime without a parent and still so young. Being acutely aware that this is not the worst circumstance one could have in life, I feel the blessing of all that is. Today I would like to pause and give thanks to my beautiful son for being such a wonderful man.

Earlier today before my feet even touched the ground, my sweet loving son landed on a big jet plane in Iceland on his way home, home to his childhood home we all once shared together back in a land that also seems far away from our present reality. You see he has been traveling for some 5 months now, backpacking all across Europe and into Africa as well. He has seen and experienced more than either his father or I have or will in the case of his father. He has grown, matured, and faced many pleasant and unpleasant circumstances some from happenstance and some by his own hand. Lessons. He has had many lessons on this journey. The real journey and work beginning that day on November 5, 2004 that seemed like a nightmare has led us forward to this sweet sunny summer day.

Standing in gratitude for your love, for your beautiful soul and spirit my gentle son. I wish you nothing but love and peace for the rest of your journey, but know that when faced with the darkness you have the tools to understand the need to rest there first, and then find the strength to reach for the tunnel of light. You have been such a beautiful blessing to me. I am so sorry you do not have a father, but you have the most important gifts right inside your very own heart. Savor the remaining days of your journey before I see you standing in Denver on Friday evening. I cannot wait beautiful boy to see your shinning spirit. Happy Father’s Day my beautiful son.

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We do not inherit the earth from our parents; we borrow it from our children. ~ Chief Seattle


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